Spork or Foon?

Ugly Chimichurri Burgers Does a Delicious Meal Make

As you may have seen with some of my previous work, food doesn't have to look good to taste good. Combine laziness, absentmindedness, impatience with some good cooking and baking skills and a touch of pizzaz, and you've got my cooking.

I made this during the height of the summer but never posted it (ah, laziness). I have to say, hamburgers are fantastic year round thanks to football Sundays.  This recipe comes to you (and me) via Bobby Flay and it truly hits the spot. A lot of ingredients go in to making this, but it really amps up your normal hamburger. And don't skip the cabbage! It is a fantastic ingredient that adds a nice variety in texture.

Does anyone else notice that Bobby Flay adds tortilla chips to everything he possibly can? I'm sure he'll come up with a blue corn tortilla ice cream soon, if he hasn't already.

Via Grill It with Bobby Flay

Ingredients

• 1 1/4 pounds ground beef (1/2 chuck and 1/2 sirloin)
• 1 medium onion, finely chopped
• 1/2 large red bell pepper, diced
• 2 garlic cloves, minced
• 1/3 cup chopped cilantro leaves
• 1 teaspoon dried oregano
• 2 teaspoons soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon Worcestershire sauce
• Salt and pepper
• 4 hamburger buns, split
• Oil
• 2 cups thinly sliced cabbage
• 1 carrot, coarsely grated
• 1 small red onion, cut into rings
• 1 tomato, sliced 1/4-inch thick
• 2 tablespoons ketchup
• 2 tablespoons mayonnaise
• 1 tablespoon yellow mustard
• Grilled Plantains with Chipotle Sauce
• 2 ripe yellow plantains
• 1/2 cup plain yogurt
• 1/2 cup mayonnaise
• 2 teaspoons pureed chipotle peppers in adobo sauce
• 1 tablespoon sugar
• 1 tablespoon cayenne powder
• 1 tablespoon black pepper

For the burgers:

Mix together beef, onion, bell pepper, garlic, cilantro, oregano, soy sauce, Worcestershire sauce, a scant 1/2 teaspoon salt, and 1/2 teaspoon pepper. Form into 4 (4 1/2-inch-wide) patties. Heat a large griddle or 12-inch heavy skillet over medium heat until hot, then lightly toast buns. Oil griddle, then cook patties, turning once, about 8 minutes total for medium-rare. Transfer to buns. Mix together cabbage, carrot, and 1/4 teaspoon salt, then cook, turning occasionally, until slightly wilted, about 2 minutes. Divide among burgers.

Oil griddle again, then sear onion and tomato, turning once, until slightly charred, about 2 minutes total. Divide among burgers. Stir together ketchup, mayonnaise, and mustard, then top burgers with sauce.

For the plantains:

While the hamburgers are cooking, peel plantains and wrap them in foil. Place wrapped plantains on grill and cook until tender but still firm, slightly caramelized. Once cooked, remove from grill, and slice into 1/2-inch rounds, on the diagonal. In a small bowl, mix together the yogurt, mayonnaise, and chipotle peppers until smooth. Return the sliced pieces of plantains to the grill, and brush chipotle sauce on 1 side. Flip after a couple of minutes and brush the sauce on the other side. Remove from grill and serve with the burgers.

Serve with Crunchy Avocado Salad

Ingredients

• 2 ripe avocados, peeled, pitted and diced
• 2 ripe beefsteak tomatoes, diced
• 1/2 cup pitted nicoise olives, roughly chopped
• 1 cup canned chickpeas, drained, rinsed and drained again
• 2 tablespoons roughly torn flat-leaf parsley
• 1/4 cup champagne vinegar
• 1/4 cup extra-virgin olive oil
• 1 teaspoon ground cumin
• 1/2 teaspoon smoked paprika
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 2 ounces blue corn tortilla chips

Gently toss the avocados, tomatoes, olives, chickpeas, parsley, vinegar, olive oil, cumin, paprika, salt and pepper in a large bowl. Crumble the chips over the top and serve.

TWD: True Life: I'm the World's Worst Shiksa

I really thought nothing would look worse than the werewolf.

I am a Catholic girl of Italian and Trinidadian descent who hails from Franklin Square, NY (Long Island). My boyfriend is a good Jewish boy from Short Hills, NJ.  He is obsessed with anything Italian and for the first few years of our relationship, insisted that I teach him how to speak Italian by helping him read Harry Potter in Italian and translating it into English. Sounds like fun, no? It wasn't. BUT we did live in Rome for a few months and that was fun.

I myself have tried to learn about the Jewish traditions. I am from Long Island. I went to Syracuse University.  I was in a sorority that was founded by 7 Jewish women (Sigma Delta Tau). I can recite the prayer for wine by heart, and often do it at religious dinners like a one-trick pony. Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam borei p'ri ha gafen.

I even learned how to make a sick pumpkin challah bread (or, as my college roommates and I like to say, "CHALLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH" (like "Holla!")). I was totally initiated.

Well, I've just lost my card. I've been kicked out of the shiksa club for this horrible attempt at Rugelach, a jewish pastry, chosen by Piggy of Piggy's Cooking Journal. You know what? I've actually been kicked out of the Manhattanite Club, the Long Islander Club AND the Shiksa Club.  

I was so psyched for this. I decided to make caramel apple pie rugelach. I diced up a pink lady apple, added a dash of cinnamon here, a pinch of nutmeg there. I whipped up some of Dorie's fabulous caramel sauce from the not-so-fabulous carmel topped peanut brownie cake. I sprinkled it with walnuts. My dough came together beautifully (I'm getting really good with dough. Thanks, TWD!).

Now it was time to roll it up. I stared at this thing for ten minutes. I envisioned the path in which I would roll this dough. I just couldn't see it. So I went for it. And this is what happened. 

As Kyle's Mom would say (from South Park) Wha- Wha- Whaaaaat?!?!?

If I had more time, I would make it again. But alas, here I sit at 11 pm on Monday night, totally not in the mood to make more rugelach. But let me tell you this. These tasted AWESOME. Crappy looks or not, it all looks the same in my belly.

Parents. Let me do you a little favor. If you ever want to show your children the repercussions of procrastination, please show them this:

Or this:

Or worse, this:

That should scare them right into their homework and chores.

Hopefully, the rest of the TWDer's faired better than I. Check them out! And then go VOTE!

Oh, and for those who read my Chucky pumpkin carving post (scroll down 1 post), I won the contest!!!  It makes me feel like I haven't lost all artistic ability! 

Happy Halloween!

I just want to wish you a very happy halloween and also show off you my Chucky Pumpkin. I carved this for a pumpkin carving contest in my building at work. With the insides, I made spiced pumpkin seeds with cumin, garam masala, ras el hanout, salt and cayenne pepper, a caramel topped pumpkin cheesecake, and a pumpkin pie. I've never had pumpkin pie before (does that mean that I can't call myself an American?) I'll post recipes and crappy pics later (because really, my pics are truly crappy).

Not to toot my own horn here, but if I don't win then this contest is fixed! Fixed, I tell you! This almost looks as good as my werewolf cupcakes! :)

Hi. I'm Chucky. Wanna Play?

And since this might be the cutest thing I have ever seen, I have to post it (although it has nothing to do with food).

I mean come on!!!!

TWD: Dragons and the Female Anatomy

This is supposed to be a werewolf!

This week, Clara at I <3 Food For Thought gave us a fun Halloween pick, Chocolate Chocolate Cupcakes, which we were free to decorate as we pleased. I just bough Hello! Cupcake and thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to make these awesome little werewolves.

However, I am impatient and didn't want to buy Fruit by the Foot for the tongue, didn't feel like making my own pastry bag with a ziplock bag and 359 layers of scotch tape, and waited until the last minute to make these. 

Therefore, my cupcake looked like a dragon with boobs.

Also, my CRAPPY camera makes it look like I glossed these over with some type of gunk (gunk!). 

You need to check out Clara's page. She's got a cute little setting with a variety of Halloween characters. I know if I weren't so hasty, my cupcakes would have looked nice and pretty. This icing was a bit too soft to ice according to the directions in Hello Cupcake (they just have you take store bought icing - in the words of Cher Horowitz: "AS IF!" - and pipe it onto the cupcake) so I can understand why it flopped. But it still looks like a dragon with boobs.

As for the cupcake, I'm not sure how I felt about it.   I shortened the baking time, and they were very light and fluffy. But I will forever compare chocolate cupcakes with Magnolia Bakery, because there is this really strong cocoa flavor to their cupcakes that is just to die for.  Dorie's were pretty good, but I don't think it will be my go-to cupcake recipe.  Plus, this cupcake really can't compare to that of Georgetown Cupcake (DC) or Magnolia Bakery (NYC). What are their secrets?!

OK, seriously, I can't get over this. It looks like some rabid chihuahua that is frothing at the mouth because it is choking on an M & M. Ugh. Patience is truly a virtue, no?

Check out TWD for some more delicious cupcakes!

TWD: No TWD.

So sick. So, so sick. Love you TWD. Look here. Pumpkin Muffins. See you next week (I hope).

Click the picture to read what it says. I love these cards.  Via Bald Guy Greetings

Oooh Baby Do You Know What That's Worth?

French Toast makes heaven a place on earth.

 

I have two weaknesses in life. Tasti-d-Lite frozen yogurt and french toast. I can't say no to either one. Ever.

 

So when I made my Pumpkin Challaaaaaaaaah, all I could think about was making some amazing french toast for days and days on end.

Pumpkin French Toast with walnuts!   I added some more fall spices to the egg mixture for the french toast to boost up the spiced flavor a bit (since I felt like the spiced flavor of the challah was not that strong) and went straight to heaven!

 

They say in heaven, love comes first, challah makes heaven a place on earth. Ahhhhh-men.

(Notes: For the egg mixture, I used one egg, 1 tbsp milk, 1 tsp sugar, 2 tsp cinnamon, 1 tsp pumpkin pie spice. But you can use any flavor you like. Nutmeg or allspice would be a nice addition as well!)

Pumpkin Challaaaaaaaaaah!

In college, my roommates and I would always yell out "Challaaaaaaaaaaaah!" (Like, Holla! but with the "ch" sound).  I graduated college in 2003 and to this day, I still do that.

Since I would like to impress my future in-laws (who are Jewish), I made some pumpkin Challah like a good little shiksa would. Sure, they live 250 miles away right now, but my boyfriend was with his parents whilst this was cooking up in the oven. I used my trusty little iPhone and sent him a photo of the finished results, titling the photo "Pumpkin Challaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!"  His parents were very impressed, yet did not get my use of the word. You can't win them all. But they were impressed and thought it was sweet that I don't know what challah is supposed to taste like (seriously). 

Braiding this was a bit difficult. For some reason, I forgot how to braid. I kept having to put the loaf down and practice on my own hair. I almost held the strands up to my head to work them that way, but I used my better judgement for the sake of the loaf --- and not having my hair filled with flour.

This recipe was courtesy of Martha Stewart. The loaf smelled wonderfully of pumpkin (does that sentence make sense? It does in my mind.) but did not taste that strongly of pumpkin (again???). Next time, I'll definitely be a bit more liberal on those fall spices. 

Now, I've got two huge loafs of challah and need to make lots of French toast and bread pudding. Woe is me, right? :)

Pumpkin Challah Courtesy of Martha Stewart

INGREDIENTS

Makes 2 loaves.

• 2 1/2 teaspoons active dry yeast, (1 1/2 packages)
• 1 cup warm water (100 degrees to 110 degrees)
• 3/4 cup egg yolks, (11 to 12 large eggs), plus 1 large egg yolk for glaze
• 1 tablespoon salt
• 2 tablespoons canola oil, plus more for bowl
• 1/4 cup honey
• 2 cups homemade Pumpkin Puree, or one 15-ounce can
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger
• 1/4 teaspoon allspice
• 8 cups all-purpose flour, plus more for dusting
•   

• DIRECTIONS

  1. Proof the yeast: Place 1/2 cup warm water in a small bowl, and sprinkle yeast over it. Stir to combine, and let sit until mixture becomes foamy, about 10 minutes.
  2. In the bowl of an electric mixer fitted with the paddle attachment, combine egg yolks with remaining 1/2 cup warm water. In a medium bowl, combine salt, canola oil, honey, pumpkin, cinnamon, ginger, and allspice. Replace paddle attachment with dough-hook attachment, and add the pumpkin mixture to the mixer bowl; combine. Add the yeast mixture, stirring until combined.
  3. Slowly add flour, 1 cup at a time, until all the flour is incorporated into dough. Transfer the dough to a lightly floured work surface, and knead the dough by hand for 10 minutes. Place dough in a lightly oiled bowl, cover with plastic wrap, and let rise until doubled in size, about 1 hour.
  4. Transfer the dough to a lightly floured work surface, punch down the dough, and then form it into two 8-inch loaves. Place the loaves on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper, cover with a kitchen towel, and let rise until doubled in size, about 1 hour.
  5. While the dough is rising, heat the oven to 350º. Mix remaining egg yolk with 1 tablespoon water. Brush the loaves with the egg glaze, and bake until golden brown, about 50 minutes. Let cool on a wire rack, and serve.
   

TWD: The Best Damn Biscotti Period.

I would just like to profess my gratitude to Gretchen from Canela et Comino for picking these biscotti. They never jumped out at me from the book, and if I were going through this book myself, I may have never made them. What a mistake that would have been.

I usually have great willpower when making these Dorie treats. But not with this one. I ate so much of this dough. So. Much. I may have been able to make a third log with all of the dough that I ate. But I never count dough as actually eating calories, because really, it's not considered food. Right? Anyone?

Then, when they came out of the oven, I ate all of the small end pieces while they were still hot.

Then, I decided to take it up a notch and dip the ends in bittersweet chocolate and sprinkle some more almonds on top. 

I had two of those (but broken up over a period of 4 hours, so the calories didn't feel as bad).

Hard on the outside, soft on the inside, covered in bittersweet chocolate, the almond flavor lingering on your tongue....

Snap out of it!

I had to get these out of my house.  I brought them to work. I had one half of one that had broken (I mean, the poor thing was just lying there helpless. I had to eat it). People loved them. I mean, seriously loved. I had three people tell me they were the best biscotti they had ever eaten.  My colleagues were taking them two and three at a time and stashing them in their drawers.

Was there crack in these cookies that nobody told me about? Because I'm tweaking for more biscotti.

Check out TWD for more biscotti brilliance!  

Ice... on the rocks.

"Nordic Rock is mined from ancient Swedish pollution-free base rock. It is the purest way of cooling your drink - literally 'on the rocks'. Stone does not melt, which means no unclean water in your glass. They are also reusable making them very eco-friendly."

I can't get around the fact that these look like they would make my drink taste like a cavity filling.

Source

TWD: Well Slap My A*s and Call Me Suzie

Or is it Sally?

First thing is first. My camera cable was returned to me in one piece. I took the advice of many fellow TWDers and threatened those elves with my new favorite weapon - my creme brulee torch.  They spoke and they spoke fast.  

My camera cord was in the glove compartment of my car.

???

I don't know how it got there, either. Not only do I have a penchant for burning myself, cutting myself, or splattering my body with scorching hot oil as if I should bathe in it, but I lose things very easily. I have a problem.

But back to spanking and calling people names. Tammy of Wee Treats by Tammy chose Caramel Peanut Topped Brownie Cake. These are DECADENT. Sure, I don't know what the title has to do with decadent cakes, but they are so good that that is the first thought that crossed my mind when I took a bite.

The caramel took much longer to make than Dorie suggested. The recipe says 10-15 minutes. I think I waited 3 1/2 hours for mine to color. Maybe it was closer to 22 minutes, but it felt like 3 1/2 hours.  I stared at that boiling concoction of sugar, water and corn syrup and willed it with all my might to turn amber. I wouldn't turn away in fear that I would return to black liquid. It was like watching paint dry. Now, when something feels unbearably long, I will say "It's like watching a simple syrup turn into caramel." It may not make sense, but us foodies will know what it means. We're like the cool kids.

I wanted to make these into cupcakes, and I took Dorie's advice by using the extra caramel and adding some more heavy cream to make a rich and creamy filling to the cupcake. I cut a cone out of the inside of the cupcake and filled it with a spoonful of the caramel, and topped it back with the brownie piece that I cut off. You can't see it in a finished picture, but oh is it there.  Here is an example of the filled cupcake.

I only found one problem.  The batter is so good. I ate a lot of it. The caramel with the nuts is so good. I ate a lot of it.  By the time I put the two together, I wanted to vomit. Appetizing, I know. I am actually contemplating a trip to the gym, and it is 11:30 at night. I actually feel caramel finding its way into pockets of my body and making a permanent home there. 

These are very impressive, though. There are definitely going to be some happy people at work tomorrow. 

Check out TWD or more gooey, gloppy goodness!

OH! It's slap my a*s and call me CHARLIE!!! 

Who is Charlie?

Here are photos of my little creme brulee tarts from last week.